Eyes Wide

I remember that day
Like it was today
When they lowered you into the ground
And I can’t seem to lose
What I had found
Out about life
And all it’s twists and turns
It’s a feeling that grows
As it burns
Slightly cursed
To always know the right way to live
Eyes open I can’t neglect this
Way of maturing
It’s not quite alluring
But the simple minds of my friends
Won’t effect my life’s end
I’ll be better today
Than I was yesterday
Stronger minds
Concur the sight of priority
Surrounded by love
I’ll move on
Pick up the pieces
Shed my inner demons
Smile thru the shattered teeth
Give up on memories
I will be strategic
I will be fearless
I won’t give up on what i’ve learned
Slightly rehearsed
I’ll always find the right way to live
Eyes open I won’t neglect this

 

Making Plans For Better Days

I’ll go to sleep thinking of you. I’ll wake up thinking of you. I’ll live my life thinking of you. You’re like shadows on my footsteps and my toes curl up when ever you’re around. It’s like my safety net to see you and my heart cannot go without that mouth. Well I guess we’re good and plenty. Living on different sides of the universe. Well I won’t stand for it much longer. My days are clinically insane. And I’m willing to digest your words for another decade. But after that I’m going to need you to stay for awhile. Four days after we last spoke I took a pill and choked the water down. My days are clinically depressed. But I’m not a mess just yet and I’ll find a use for your distance. Soon enough you’ll fall short of compromise. You can’t settle for those lies much longer. Down for the count you’ll lose your nerve and we’ll spend the rest of our lives wishing we were better than the first time we met. Scumbags at their best. We fed on liquor and perfection. We’re finally starting to sound human. We can’t let go of the hope we’ve held onto. And I’ll see you soon. Soon enough you’ll fall short of patience. You can’t settle for those girls much longer. We’ve got something new. Something only meant for you.

 

Oxygen Mask

Nothing’s the same
Without that look in your eyes.
Maybe I should just jump the gun
And cry.
‘Cause ain’t nothing sadder
Than a girl who can’t learn to matter
To the people who matter to her most.
Well I’m not one to boast
But I’m a winner
When it comes to finding out the truth.
And nothing here is a lie except for you.
You told me it would come to this
But I never understood.
That lovers can only love
Like lovers should.
Nothing’s the same
Without that look on your face.
I don’t think I’d ever be too tired to chase
You while running on empty.
The light’s been flashing for days
But this fuel has gone to waste.
There’s nothing subtle about the bad taste
In my mouth
Since the last time you came around
I knew it was ending
Well now I guess I’m fending
For us both
Well I’m not one to boast
But I’m sure you loved me the most
Out of all the girls on your bed post.
Nothing’s the same
When you’re different all the time.
And you settle with juice instead of wine.
‘Cause the bitter taste reminds you of his games.
I just hope you’re ready for the fade.
It’ll slowly go away.
And nothing will be left except for change.
And nothing will be the same…
You’ll breathe in a lot of shame
Choke up blame
Fall for the stories you never told
Well better go off and get bold
Live fast
Buy yourself an oxygen mask
Learn to heal your lungs from all the coughed up lies
You’ll tell in order to feel just fine

 

Learning To Dance

love is shadowed by trust and luscious fumes. love is shattered by the fear of empty rooms. and you can tell me your touch means more. but i’m convinced that i’m just another tour. of the life you wish you could let yourself keep. well nothing is going to happen except me turning the other cheek. i’ve got fancy footsteps leaving imprints on your life. you’ll look back, see a track, and never be quite alright. they’ll be a bottomless number of misused mumbles. and you’ll utter every one about the way i left you here. well you’re no good for me, dear. and i’ve learned time and time again you can’t be a lover if you can’t be a friend. you bruised my knee while staring down my neck. now i’m going to do what’s best. shed the morning skin of my everlasting regrets. glory only comes to the ones who keep their shirts on. and i’m scared but i’m human. this bed is empty but it’s mine. you’ll wish you were just fine. on your own. when i go. in two months. maybe more. i’m just another tour. of the life you wish you could let yourself keep. well nothing is going to happen except me turning the other cheek. i’ve got fancy footsteps leaving imprints on your life. you’ll look back, see a track, and never be quite alright. they’ll be a everlasting degree of misused excuses. as to why it ended up the way it did. you’ll throw a fit. the moment there’s another man. should have held onto me while you can. baby, there ain’t no reason we can’t learn to dance. take the steps. take a chance. on each other well let’s see. what comes to life might set us free. of all the worries listed above. well i’m just talking more like hoping you’d give up. on me. i’m not the one. i’m just looking to have some fun. well that’s a lie. it’s alright. if you’d rather just call it a night. well nothing is going to happen except me turning the other cheek. i’ve got fancy footsteps leaving imprints on your life. you’ll look back, see a track, and never be quite alright. well you’re no good for me, dear. no you’re no good for me.

 

This has no ending

I guess it’s for the best
I wish you all the happiness in the world
This is goodbye written in permanent ink
I hope she takes the time to think
And takes you back because you know
You and I won’t ever grow
Into something real you’re too ashamed
And I’ve got no time to play these games
But if you’re around I guess I’ll see you
Just in time to see the truth
You’re no good for me baby you’re sour
I knew after about an hour
Your heart was split in two
But I’ll make this easy on you
I guess it’s for the best
I wish you all the happiness in the world
This is goodbye written in permanent pen
I hope you take the time to fend
For yourself
There’s nothing I can do to help
Besides get lost
Go away
Let you spend your days
Loving her like you never thought you could
Well I’m just a tick
On the back of your relationship
And I won’t burden you any further
I’m no longer worth as much as her
So this is goodbye written permanently on my skin
A tattoo of our friendship
Would say
“NEVER ENOUGH”
I was never enough for your games

 

Bites In Different Boulevards

This feels exactly
What it would
In a dream
Not what it seems
But too good
To get rid of
So let’s play pretend
Bring this to an end
Before your words shatter your lies
Well I’ll be doing just fine
Here on my own
Once I learn to let you go
Once I learn to let you know
You’re not the only boy breaking my heart
No I love ’til I fall apart
I’ve got breaks in different states
Waiting to play those same old games
And they can love me better for awhile ’til their bored
And they chant lies like the preachers chant the lord
And you get cold feet like woman get cold skin
Well I’m not done with letting myself cave in
Well I’ll be doing just fine
Here on my own
Once I learn to let you go
Once I learn to let you know
You’re not the only boy breaking my heart
No I love ’til I fall apart
I’ve got bites in different boulevards
Wanting to scar me hard
Well I’m not leaving ’til I’m bruised
Well I’m not finished ’til I’m used
And you’ve got me pinned
Crying to be refused
Let me know when you’re all set
To settle down
Add some fuel to my fire
My shattered heart’s desire
Let me know when you’re all set
To burn
Well I’ll be doing just fine
Here on my own
Once I learn to let you go
Once I learn to let you know
You’re not the only boy breaking my heart
No I love ’til I fall apart
I’ve got bites in different boulevards
I’ve got breaks in different states

 

Fade Out; Feel Fine

Everything fades to black
The fit aren’t fit to attack
And this house isn’t nearly a home
It’s filled with beautiful mocking tones
And it’s the last place I want to sleep
With cold hands, cold looks, cold feet
So I’ll just pretend to die
And live all my days just fine
When everything fades to black
There’s just no looking back
And everyone is here to judge
But I’m not pushing to shove
My mind is erased with time
And I’m starting to feel just fine
When everything fades to black
I’m reminded of everything I lack
The half-wits I never dealt with
The good that just comes to an end
We’re all just dying to pretend
That love isn’t filled with goodbyes
Well i’m feeling just fine
When everything fades to black

 

The Early Goodbye

i can feel my wrist snap as my finger hits the trigger
of the camera taking the picture of our last kiss
and it’s a hit or miss
mystery os why you went missing
but there’s a heart back on this coast
fully charged and ready to float
back to you
just say the word
but you say nothing
and i’m cursed
to slay my lovers like doctors do
make the incision and then be on the move
for my next victim
well i’m sick of my convictions
sick of my standards
done with my shaking hands
as my finger hits the trigger
of the camera taking the picture
of our last dance
and i never expected romance
but honesty is like a sharp knife
and nothing says “spineless”
like an early goodbye

 

Bend, Break, Repeat

there are patterns in our lives that make us dizzy and concerned
we fall down just to get back up again
and wipe off our bodies of dirt and dust
we are routinely slithering thru dark piles of depression
you held her close just to let her go
and i know you feel that there is no one left to know
but i promise you’ll get to the place
where happiness doesn’t get taken away
and there are such things as smiles without delayed pain
when you realize you shouldn’t be laughing at a time like this
well it’s not so easy, now is it?
you feel inclined to feed off of other people’s wounds
heal yourself with a spark of insanity
thriving on bits of life you waste with intoxication
but that’s not us, is it?
we are the rare exceptions
the hearts that lay themselves on the line
just for a small chance of gratitude
that similar attitude
that we will always be around no matter what the situation
and you’re tired of crying but i’m not tired of listening
but i sure am tired of missing
you while your there
so work on smiling again
and i’ll see you soon, dear friend

 

Dear Lover, Don’t Cry

sleeping alone has become foreign to me
and i hope you come home soon
cause i’m missing you like crazy
and your smile is known to lose what’s been found
but i haven’t smirked
since you haven’t been around
the light in the tunnel is starting to dim
and this month, alone, is looking quite grim
my heart is complacent
quite hollowed, quite vacant
and you brush to the side
your hair from your eyes
as you cry in the call
that your memories are tall
of her face before you last left
the difficulty it took to get
on that plane and say goodbye
well i wish, dear lover
that you did not cry
at the thought of you leaving her for the last time
before she reached the end of her life
because the bitter tears you feel for her
aren’t the smiles she wished would occur
every time you think of that fond little moment
she wishes you would move on and sugar coat it
love what you’ve lost and bid the farewell
to a beautiful girl
no longer under life’s spell
wishing she were living
long enough to tell
you that you’ve got to dry those eyes
baby, don’t you paralyze
that great, big heart of yours
well i wish, dear lover
that you did not cry
at the thought of you leaving her for the last time
before she reached the end of her life
well i wish, dear lover
that you did not cry